I didn’t always hate the holidays…
When my husband Greg and I first got married, the holidays were fun. We could spend the entire time going from party to party, visiting friends and family and having a festive time. He was one of those guys who could keep a party going all by himself and be the center of attention. In all honesty, it was fun. I didn’t even mind that he’d drive us home afterward – half cut, radio blaring and a window cracked to keep him alert. Sometimes, there’d even be ‘one for the road’ sitting in the cup holder.
As we got older, the partying slowed down but the drinking didn’t. Greg’s always insisted on stocking up on beer and liquor for holiday guests who rarely show. I’m not stupid; I know it’s just his excuse for having something available to drink. He usually drinks most of what he buys. If I ever try to reason that he should actually save it for the guests, he gets mad and says it’s his money that bought it and he can easily replace it.
On his vacation days, he’ll spend hours drinking in front of the TV, with beer cans piling up around him. I used to try to spend time with him – sitting on the couch and watching TV with him, maybe even having a glass of wine so that he’s not the only one drinking. But any time I made a comment or tried to talk to him, he’d accuse me of interrupting the show. If I tried to clean up the cans, he’d yell at me for getting in his way or being too loud. Once, after I took a phone call beside him in the same room, he got up and slammed the phone down, accusing me of ruining the end of his show.
So now I just leave him alone: drinking in front of the TV until he heads off to bed or, just as likely, passes out in his chair. I try to stay out of his hair. I read a lot, do chores, run errands. Sometimes, I’ll go to the liquor store to get him more beer. It doesn’t make me happy but it’s better than him heading out in our car or drinking all our liquor.
I guess I’ve learned to cope. But it’s exhausting…
I’m actually glad when the holidays are over. It means his bender is over. At least until the next weekend or vacation day.