Here’s a Roadmap to Reclaim Your Relationship.
You’ve reached your wit’s end; you’ve taken all you could. But… what can you do to help your addicted spouse? How can you make them listen?
It may be time you planned an intervention. Yes, that cheesy television moment on your favourite sitcom where a family sits a loved-one down and confronts an issue that’s destroying everyone’s lives – especially the protagonist.
An intervention is a procedure by which friends or family can guide an addicted person to change their destructive behaviour. Their behaviour is often dangerous to themselves and others, so it must be curbed. To ensure you don’t set back any advancement, an intervention should not be staged without professional guidance.
If you’re going to help an addict, you need to understand that their bodies are fundamentally built differently than you. Your thoughts are not their thoughts. An addict’s brain literally doesn’t know when to quit; it has no conscience to tell them when its time to move on.
An addict is an excuse-maker. They don’t feel addicted. They just feel normal. If you want to help, you need to remove any and all excuses for them on their path to recovery. You need to be their trailblazer to claim the help they need, and eventually, crave.
Do Your Research
You need to know what options are available to your loved-one. Before you ever meet with them, search for local treatment options. Connect with their family doctor, church leader, or other community leader to obtain guidance and recommended facilities or programs. The more you know about how an addict thinks, the more you’ll be able to free them from their chains.
Plan the Specifics
Your job is to eliminate excuses. Call the treatment centre, have their bags packed, and arrange their work absence for immediately following the intervention. Ensure that, as soon as the intervention is complete, your loved-one goes directly to the treatment centre. Even a night’s sleep can be enough to reset the conversation back to the beginning.
Confront the Issue
Talk to the addict about their addiction. Choose a time when you know they are sober, you are in the right mindset, and you can speak to them privately. You don’t want to shame, embarrass, or defeat them before you even get started. An intervention doesn’t have to be a surprise; it can be a planned, agreed-upon meeting. The location is mostly irrelevant, but its important to keep the meeting as private and low-key as possible.
Let Them Know
When you’re speaking with your loved-one, let them know that co-workers or neighbours have noticed their addiction and its impact – and even lost respect for them. Your loved-one may respond with anger or hostility, but its important to respond with a calm, firm resolve. Its important to state that you still love and care about them, but will not tolerate their actions any longer. Then, reveal the steps you have taken to help them on their path to recovery.